we could say its me menopause but today i find meself very emotional and while i’ve been very busy and stressed i think that the culprit of my tears to day is just some days the ancestors come a callin’ more strongly than others.
so my morning started with some tears and my evening eases into bed time with tears – what triggered them? Well Chuck and George.
this morning when showing a short video about Spectrum – a Deaf Artists colony that ran in Austin, Texas from 1975-1980 – Chuck Baird got me all emotional. Its true it was hard to watch the video after he had passed 2 years ago and then again after Betty G. Miller departed because she too is in the video. This spring i was a little more prepared to watch it without such raw sorrow but Chuck got me anyways.
well, watching him and his quirky funny way of explaining things got me remembering how about 6 years ago he had contacted me with the idea of having a 20th anniversary for Deaf View/Image Art -De’VIA (art about the Deaf experience) and i was like SURE, YES, and HOW CAN I HELP?
(we had worked on a series of display posters on De’VIA motifs and themes for the 2008 NAD conference to show the evolution and growth of De’VIA and of course Chuck wanted more – not just posters but people coming together to share their work and celebrate De’VIA’s anniversary)
Chuck sent out some emails and postings to see if folks were interested and he felt he didnt get a strong enough response and probably was experiencing health issues but didnt want to share at that time so decided it was best we didnt pursue it.
Now it is De’VIA’s 25th anniversary and we aim to honor it with all our hearts and of course me heart breaks knowing Chuck wont be there in person. I know he will be with us in spirit – for sure! But im sad. It makes me sad. 6 years ago when he proposed the idea – i didnt know he was sick and i didnt feel i had the right to lead such a thing. so im just a wee bit sad i didnt do more sooner. I aint angry with myself – just a bit weepy. He did so much for You and for Me.
I’m sorry chuck. real sorry. But we will make your dream come true. I promise.
my evening tears come when reading a bunch of papers and in one response about an artwork honoring George Veditz, a wonderful person has written: “I know George Veditz and he actually saved my life by preserving a beautiful language and encouraged us to choose ourselves. We don’t choose by forcing us.”
This just made me so happy. Years ago i read a quote by martin luther king jr that i latched onto and have not let go “we must have the spiritual audacity to assert our somebodiness” – to me the concept of being encouraged to choose ourselves, to choose our language – this is having the spiritual audacity to assert our somebodiness. it does not come from force – it comes from encouragement and inspiration.
And this wee comment amongst many other things i have to read and do tonight got me thinking of a short tribute amongst many other tributes to George W. Veditz in the Maryland Bulletin April 1937 Vol. LVII No 7 p. 126 it made me cry and it chokes me up every time since.
Makes me cry.
well, im not sure – mostly i guess cuz i feel i should have and could have done more sooner and cuz George really did, has done, and is doing so much for YOU and for Me and cuz so many of us are doing so little for ourselves and our language.
But i have hope – with chaps like these stopping by – we cant go wrong. And there are MANY good folks on the ground so Forward march. We are not alone and we are legions.