Kettle Black – hear that whistle roar? nah – we DEAF

heye all

first all – i must say THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU to Joseph Pietro Riolo III for questioning the insinuations and justness of targeting me via my work place.

This is VERY impressive of u, Joseph.  this STANDING instead of bystanding or grand standing.

Joseph and i have had alot of exchanges in the blogsphere and we often dont see eye to eye but we have often left our exchanges saying aye and aye – meaning we can agree to disagree and respect each other.  There are many things i really appreciate about Joseph and i have sung his praise here and there before and also stepped up to the plate to say he is a good egg.  And he is.

So when someone told me that he did a good, right and just thing over at the kokonut pundits place – i thoughts how sweet and wonderful is that.  LOVE rules.  No, i ain’t saying me and joseph are sweet on each other.  I am just saying that he has been an honest joe in the blogsphere and so have i and mutual respect has emerged.  there are some things he has said and done that dont sit well with me and im sure there are things i have said and done that dont sit well with him but still we can ferret out what is truth and what is opinion.

So thank you joseph.  u have taught me alot – like when u helped me learn that the famous quote about neutrality that often gets credited to Dante is really a quote by JFK of Dante’s work.  I loved learning that and I thank u

Dante once said that the hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in a period of moral crisis maintain their neutrality

now maybe Joseph has changed his tune somewhere since the time of that comment defending my honor – i dont know cuz im in a rush and some folks’ places are simply cesspools of toxicity.  I do hope Joseph stays tall and firm in his goodness and dont swallow any of their hemlock.

I see from a bunch of pingbacks this morning that Candy is on a blogging binge to discredit, dismiss, distort, … in short – to diss me.  I have only seen the titles of these entries come in and i have not read them.  I have a busy 4 days ahead of me.  Its film festival time YA HOO! so i wont be going there.  im sure some folks will fill me in as i have already gotten a few emails saying OY!

but judging by the  titles of the pingbacks and her comments at Mike’s place – it is more falsehoods, spins, and her own bitter brew of planting seeds of distrust, lies, and retribution.

many folks will go visit and some will drink up and swallow it and spin off more spew.  Many will just watch and be fearful.  Hopefully no one will react and attack back cuz that is what she is hoping for and we should turn off the heat on that black kettle and just call it – crap born of a bitter brew.

Based on her comments and those of Ann_C’s at mikes i can tell you all – they contain no truths beyond where i work and the dept i work for.  the rest is falsehoods or a matter of their opinion.

re: the email group – i was not in the group emails about letter writing re: Candy and her giving a workshop on effective communication.  i was in an email group discussing who she was and if Ridor should vlog about her true identity.  Candy has said in the past it was no biggie that folks knew her real name but then she continues to drag it out to beat folks up with it.  hmmmm.

She is kinda contradictory and contrary folks.  she will spin it this way and that way depending on what time of day it is and then when busted just say “well, that is debatable.”

If i have made any mistake it was to believe her when she said she was so upset about the email group.  i sincerely thought she was cuz no one like to find out others have been talking behind their backs.  i put forth a good faith effort to mend things and move forward – she has chosen to distort and destroy.  it is sad

but i think the places where i decide ohhhh she is so vicious is when i saw her allow up comments that attacked a prominent and important b/vlogger – the comments planted a seed that this b/vlogger & leader may be telling her Deaf children to be against classmates who have CIs.  it broke my heart to see her allow those up and then to defend the person’s right to say that crap.  why did it break my heart cuz that b/vlogger is a good person and mother and teacher and leader and she gets lots of crap for being in the blogsphere.  it is not easy out here in the wicked web world.

that is when i realized that Candy seems to be a bitter apple and might even be a rotten potatoe.  boo i had hoped for better.  yes, yes, yes there were other signs like what she done to Sheri F and Ella and… and… and… but im a HOPER.  its what i do.  its real hard for me to abandon the hope for good in people.  mighty hard.

i am not worried about Candy’s ranting and attacking of me.  i am a bit worried about her soul.  no one should be that confused or tormented but i am putting it in better hands than mine.

to the good folks and the confused folks – know this.  I love her and wish her well.

good folks – pls do not let her attacks intimidate u or make u go silent.  that is when i get upset by attacks cuz it makes other folks say – “I cant risk it” or it makes some folks who have been chummy with the bitter ones worry “what do they have on me and what will the use against me”

do not buy into FEAR – Face Everything And Rise and know you are beautiful

Deaf Culture



Deaf people

Hearing people


are all beautiful

and powerful

this is not the time to be neutral – the ICED 2010 Vancouver New Era agreement said:

– oral-aural-ONLY education is not cool

– Deaf folks must have a role in the decision making about themselves

and know that i love u

i am speaking of activism and not of defending me.  no one needs to defend me but everyone should be questioning her motives and actions – dont swallow anything she says as truths cuz her track record sucks.  (i get really upset by falsehoods cuz they mislead folks and get folks to misbehave)

(ya know the oppressors always get real cranky and vicious when we r winning so that is another sign of the times – good things are a comin’.  dont become what we abhor.  let them spin and get tangled and call ’em on it if need be – eyes forward and march and jump at da sun)

if u care to comment here – pls no comments dissing candy.  u can bring facts and truths if u want but the bestest gifts u could deliver would be to list all the good things we have been doing – or just a howdy of “i see u patti and i love u”

some folks think my love talk is false or lame but i wont yield on that folks – love (most especially tough love when needed) is the most powerful substance on the planet

have a good day the snow ifs falling those big ole flakes that i love and life is good


Patti Durr

16 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Don G.
    Mar 31, 2011 @ 15:42:25

    I see you and ILY!

  2. handeyes
    Mar 31, 2011 @ 23:50:43

    awww thank u don
    back at ya



  3. MM
    Apr 01, 2011 @ 08:14:42

    I won’t echo the adoration in respect of my partner lol but my response was that some deaf with entrenched viewpoints always assume an alternative viewpoint is an personal attack, I mean I have been abused online and patronised by fellow deaf for years, far in excess to hearing people. Most do not even dissect or oppose a view which is the civilised way to discuss issues.

    I’ve had blogs mimicking mine filled with personal attacks and ridicule, and had homosexual pornography sent to my e-mail, I tend to be wary now ! I think with deafhood the issue is one of ideology and of the American stance on deafhood, which offers up little less than discrimination by decibel, by lifestyle, and by language. Obviously as a critic of Paddy Ladd I read his book first, and he doesn’t support what you and people like Don G are saying about journeys and deafhood nirvana, but at the same time on the first 10 pages makes it clear a line HAS to be drawn between what he sees as ‘Deaf’ people and what the reality is.

    In short deafhood is a cover for an very introspective viewpoint that wasn’t even accessible to the people he aimed at, because the target audience wasn’t deaf people. He reduced his ideology to an elite perspective based no singular sign use and suggested it as an academic truism when it is JUST a thesis/view, that has to stand alone alongside yours or mine, in short and with a lot fewer complicated language usage Understanding deafhood contained, (I offered to simplify it for Don G!), it is the emperor’s new clothes, but with 10,000 too many extra words in it.

    Frankly if you see THIS comment as a personal attack it just proves the point. Why do I not ‘get it’ ?

  4. handeyes
    Apr 01, 2011 @ 09:28:15

    good morning MM –

    your comment has NOTHING to do with my blog entry except for the fact that sometimes you have been mistreated in the internet. and for that i am sorry to learn of. “injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” ~ MLK jr

    That is pretty impressive how far off the mark you have shot just to drag in ur repetitious refrain of Paddy is poo poo (but he isnt cuz i read his book and u US distort but he is cuz the first 10 pages…. – Huh, MM?) seems u have a black kettle on too? Dont ya all know by now that when u r screaming the loudest falsehoods it sends up a flare that its really about u???

    This is not an attack of you – it is just a statement of truth. and to quote you – because i love quotes: “Frankly if you see THIS comment as a personal attack it just proves the point.”

    Im just holding up a mirror, friend, so u can spot your own twisting as we have our spot of tea – brewed of different kettles of course. I know u like urs piping hot and bitter and i prefer mine warm and “good earth” original.

    You are using this blog entry here which is about someone launching an attack on me to bring in your own IDEOLOGY and falseHOOD a tooting to repeat your ever ending angst against Dr. Ladd’s book and construct re: Deafhood.

    maybe u have confused the names paddy with patti. some folks do that.

    in your last comment you say “if you see….” so since u seem mighty confused – i will tell you what i do see. I see projection, deflection, rejection, dejection, in your statements above.

    I do see u MM – i have not spent much time reading u but there were a few entries u did that were revealing about who you are and how you navigate the world and why we see you in the same place.

    i do at times really enjoy your dry wit.

    I have seen folks malign ya and i have seen u malign many a folks.

    i am not gonna defend Dr. Ladd’s work because it stands for itself and it stands VERY well. It is based on indepth ethnographic research and it speaks of the people – mostly grassroots folks being honest about what life is like and what their potentials are when equality of condition is present and when it is nipped.

    to accuse him of being elitist is farcical and shows how desperate ya become when u all try to spin things. Paddy is a very down to earth bloke who hasnt deserved any of the bashing u have been delivering at his work or his personhood. But no matter and no worries because your distortions are reflections of who you are and where you are right now.

    I love you. and We will keep jumping at the sun.

    i know change is scary for some folks. i know status quo is all the rave for “have-a-little-want-more” folks because it holds the false idea that you might get some more down the line and the false fear that if u rock the boat a wee bit u will loose what little u have.

    This is why the concept of elite subaltern (strong English (or Dominant culture language folks depending on what country u stand in the world) and subaltern elite (strong Natural sign language) folks – SOMETIMES use and abuse the wee bit of power and privilege they have

    and it is why subaltern rebels are so important and needed

    to shake and wake folks up

    the above may zoom over ur head MM. i write it more for the other readers who might be stopping by and there have been hundreds since yesterday.

    “zooming over your head” – i mean u no offense. i just know that some folks prefer being asleep than awake and i know for some folks waking up is VERY hard to do.

    i is aiming for 1,001 victories MM. i am not holding my breathe that u will be one of them but from the positive blogging i did see from u – when u are advocating for some equality of condition for urself or ur mate or child – i know u too have some subaltern rebel in u.

    re: the emperor’s new clothes – goodness MM at times it appears u are wearing no clothes at all and in terms ideology – if i have to have one – id rather it be one that sides with TRUTHS and JUSTICE and not an exclusionary construct that one must SPEAK and LISTEN and that to be Hearing or Behave as Hearing folks do is superior to being Deaf

    re: Don G. – i can see u are trying to bait him here. I hope he yawns and walks on by or comes back to tell me he loves me again. we could all use some more love. especially the folks who are afraid of the truth…. ie – the truth that its OK to be Deaf and often at times is Dandy and Handy to be Deaf.

    the truism is: We hold these truths to be self-evident that all people are created equal ….

    u may say that is debatable. many folks have said NO we are not all created equal – they believe some folks are better than others – they subscribe to the notion and practice of ethnocentrism, sexism, racism, heterosexism, ageism, antisemitism, audism, eugenics, social darwinism

    the notion that all folks are created equal INCLUDING Deaf folks has been asserted and proven by many books and research studies beyond Dr. Ladd

    I understand why some of you have an aversion to this truth and prefer to attack Deaf folks rather than the systems of oppression and tools of inequality

    its their option but as for me – im gonna keep jumping at the sun

    i wish u all the best w/ all the good stuff u choose to pursue and if u choose to remain stuck in the muck – i wish u the best there as well.

    we folks be on the rise and i see it is getting a mighty rise out of ya. that there is a very telling sign.

    its ok – i know u will catch up…. or maybe u wont. in the mean time we be busy

    re: nirvana – nahhh there is not talk of nirvana – just justice, love, faith and hope. good try emperor ; )

    much peace and love


  5. MM
    Apr 01, 2011 @ 14:07:12

    We all need to get out more, that’s the problem 🙂 Actually Don was grateful I did a vblog explaining and translating, an example from U-Deafhood that defied a signed equivelant, it certainly was NOT aimed at ridiculing Don, as I’m sure he will tell you. I’m not actually sure where we fell out but…. Perhaps when he went total ASL and then refused to engage with non-believers… Well we could debate this all day, but truth is like beauty, i.e.. in the eyes of the reader deafhoody-wise, I think it only rambles on because most involved like a good argument, or not sure where they are at… or have found a cause to follow. The 1st 10pages bit are in the actual definitions and how Mr Ladd saw them, then went on to contradict every one of them once he had the bit between his teeth. I suppose I SHOULD apologise for the vblog that portrayed him as an rapper, but only on the grounds he hadn’t the image really 🙂 Patti the next gin and tonic are on me, can’t be fairer than that…

  6. handeyes
    Apr 01, 2011 @ 18:09:29

    MM – i have no idea what u r referencing about ur vlogging and don etc. and i see u still trying to draw him in but he got busy and good things to do than to keep ya entertained – me think.

    re: “bit between his teeth” – again we must ask “for whom does the tea kettle blow – it blows for ye MM”

    re: ur backhanded apology – wow. the emperor reigns supreme in u dont it?

    it is really funny how u tried to make this all about u by dissing others. just so hmmmmm mildewy

    re: the gin and tonic – well i do declare u r offering me a drink? i think that might be the first honest thing u said here but….. unfortunately upon more careful inspection it looks like its just a figure of speech.

    if u had offered a guinness, well then i might have been willing to play this game. what with me being so elite and all.

    re: getting out more – yeah i think u r right. it would do u good.



  7. MM
    Apr 02, 2011 @ 16:09:16

    I still do not believe all they say about you is true… you are not paranoid and think we are all out to ridicule you, throw me a bone here..

  8. Patti
    Apr 02, 2011 @ 16:50:09

    I’ll give u much more for that. That is truly good of ya cuz it’s truthful soooo I’ll offer to buy ya a gin and tonic and ww can toast w me guiness if I ever make it to the uk or u here

    Agreed q



  9. Don G.
    Apr 02, 2011 @ 22:00:57

    MM —

    We never had a “falling out”, since I never really “fell in” with you. I just got tired of treading the same ground with you and getting nowhere, and as Patti said, busy.

    Honestly, I don’t think you’re a bad guy. Never have. And I’d be happy to share a beer with you (if I could understand your BSL), but not Guinness…. prefer lager-type beers.

  10. handeyes
    Apr 03, 2011 @ 03:39:22

    Heye don –

    looks like we may be having a very nice gathering! smile

    cheers to u both

    off the point but related to twisting and trashing. Mike McConnell is ranting about some twitterer re: safe Deaf cyber space and Candy is saying that its MY twitter

    it is NOT mine. i have nothing to do with it. never have never will. i only learned of it several month ago when someone showed to me that the twitter had listed this people of they eye blog as the wwww

    i have no idea who is doing it or the FB site

    just more falseHOODS she is proclaiming – geez she is skating right into cyber defamation.

    that kettle aint just whistling these days – its actually howling!

    so salutes to u both ohh and aint JPR a gem. Seriously that guy is doing good. I will definitely buy him a drink or a smoothie or whatever he fancies.



  11. brenster-
    Apr 03, 2011 @ 14:45:48

    Heya! Been a long time since I last came… I don’t follow the pools overflown from the cesspools. I learned that it is just a waste of time trying to reason with them at the same time trying to respect their views, only asking mine be respected in return. Nay, no respect back. Pointless. I stay focused on things that are more proactive, can disagree, and such. I’m sorry that you are being targeted in their attacks. It is not COOL that they are continuing to drag this on and on, even worse with falsehoods. Stay strong, girl!

    About Candy having her identity outed and all, she obviously holds bitterness and is channeling it into attacking on the others. Understandably so, but is it right? No. Yes, I saw the contradictory you mentioned. Truthfully, in my view, Candy made her own bed from her previous attacks with falsehoods on our community. She is entitled to her opinions, but by throwing around false information about us? No, she is not entitled to do that… Understandably that people would like to know who was that anonymous blogger (not saying they are right or wrong, just saying it’s understandable). Now that her bed is messy, she wants to pull the others into the bed with her. me not wanna be in that bed as me got mine to sleep in – love my bed the way it is 😉

    Stay tall & strong and risseeeee further!!!

  12. MM
    Apr 03, 2011 @ 16:01:02

    Ok Don so I’m boring but not hateful 🙂 I’ll pass on the Guiness, I’m more a mackeson’s stout personally…

  13. patti
    Apr 03, 2011 @ 23:17:08

    MM and don – seems we can’t even agree on our brewsky! my goodness – smiles. No matters we can still say cheers, no?

    True peace and true love,


  14. patti
    Apr 03, 2011 @ 23:37:43

    Brenster –

    my goodness. how u have a way of showing up when the voice of reason is needed. i dont know who u r at all but i do thank u. u r mighty fine to come strolling by to shed some light on the truths.

    i appreciate it MUCHLY.

    re: the cesspool overflowing – yep. Head up stream and up the hill. they be down #hit creek without a paddle now i see. Falsely accusing me endlessly and trying to target me via my workplace. My heavens!

    re: respect – yep seems u know how to sign it properly too – it goes out and towards simultaneously.

    thank u for the shout outs of NOT COOL and for the “stay strong girl”

    ya basta!

    re: the “outing” when she had already revealed her name here and there and when she had preached a big ole message of the importance of forgiveness and “to err is human” over at Ann_C’s when it was revealed at barry’s “prove it” demand that yes in FACT – he had been behind the writing of letters filled with FALSEHOODS targeting Ella, DE, and Barb via their workplaces and affiliations with the goal of disciplinary actions being taken against them and the dismantling of the DBC

    he even said over at Ann_c’s that he would send these letters filled with b.s. all over again if he didnt think it would jeopardize their jobs

    kinda odd how candy is not employing her own preaching of forgiveness and to “err is human”

    as for me – she is already forgiven for what she is trying to presently frame on me. and no i have not checked on what the latest b.s. she is trying to toss my way today is. im not in the mood for a “as the web spins” episodes. had a very DEAFULL weekend. Deaf Rochester Film Festival rocks and much to do do and the woods be calling me soon.

    re: her bed – i understand ur point big time and im glad ur bed is comfy and clean and u sleep well and grow strong. me too. but id rather not think upon her bed if ya dont mind. hence the tea pot works best for me and cuz that seems to be yet another falseHOOD she declared when she said that malice was not her cup a tea – well darling, candy (hi ya – yep i see u – i know u still come trolling by cuz i seen u go through every one of my blog entries looking for any wee thing to try to use against me – my goodness that must have been a very slow couple of work days eh?) malice clearly is ur cup of tea if u continue to slander and malign me and if u can not forgive me for things i have NOT EVEN DONE ; )

    dang that whistle is blowing so loudly even the Deaf folks in da hood can hear it.

    I sees ya candy and i still love ya.

    Brenster – thank u mightly and i love ya too!

    true peace and true love,


  15. MM
    May 12, 2011 @ 17:35:22

    If you take out deafhood and just put deaf people together we get on fine 🙂 We don’t need ideaology we need entente’ Obviously I still think Mr Ladd’s ramblings have done more to split deaf up than it ever did to unite them, on those grounds alone it has to be opposed, even if God forbid, there was some logic in what he said…. We are all deaf we are not all deafhood.

  16. handeyes
    May 12, 2011 @ 18:05:39

    aw MM

    a diplomatic understanding of things would require honesty, eh?

    I am fine with you opposing Deafhood and preferring to be deaf. A heads up – pre-Deafhood days, the Deaf community was not one big ole family so u really can not effectively or logically scapegoat Deafhood.

    I knows u will try – i seen it. But it is not all the cause of ur troubles matey.

    Again to see the root of our troubles would require…
    honesty and open eyes and again I’m totally fine with you if you prefer to be Deafhoodless. Not all men must acknowledge their manhood. Just dont deny me mine (womanhood that is ; )

    heres and cheers for diplomacy



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