Homophobia & Sexism aint cool and DVTV boo

heye all

Homophobia & Sexism aint cool and DVTV boo

youtube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lFDB70KFCQ

NOT COOL!  I can not tell u how uncool this is coming in the wake of g/l/b/t suicides.  it is so thoughtless and wrong i can not fathom why it was carried and still up at DVTV.  it is beyond mind-boggling.


A boycott is a form of consumer activism involving the act of voluntarily abstaining from using, buying, or dealing with a person, organization, or country as an expression of protest, usually for political reasons. (from wikipedia)

Once Thoreau refused to pay his taxes as he was protesting slavery and was put in jail – his friend said:

“Why are you in jail?” the friend asked.

“Why are you out of jail?” he answered.

from http://www2.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=4802

Read more there about how the Montgomery Bus Boycott was to be for one day only but had to go on and on for over 1 year and WHY?

Don’t ride buses that allow folks to be mistreaded.  Yes, it happens else where and one struggle at a time.  We will get to those places too.  For now eyes on DVTV and DR for constantly violating their own guidelines.

If you decide only to do a ONE day boycott – make that known.  Put a vlog or blog entry up saying BLUE MONDAY!

Many folks have been boycotting both DVTV/DR for a mighty long time.

Many folks have asked me “Why are you out of DVTV/DR?” to which i should have answered “Why are you in DVTV/DR?”

Time to do the right thing folks.

Rosa Parks – an UNstupid woman!


93 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. skyxavier
    Oct 17, 2010 @ 19:00:22

    Is refusing to sign up a form of boycott? I’ve never really liked DVTV so I decided not to sign up.

  2. handeyes
    Oct 17, 2010 @ 19:36:50

    Hi skyxavier

    yes refusing to sign up is a form of boycott

    refusing to click and generate traffic via DR/DVTV portal is also a form of boycott

    refusing to have ur b/vlog entries carried there is a form of boycott

    thank u



  3. Candy
    Oct 17, 2010 @ 21:04:09


    Can you be specific on what Crystal said?

    I didn’t watch all of it because it was too long. However, I did see her mentioned that some lesbians are stereotypically viewing men’s comment to be oppressing. Or something like that. Maybe I need to go and watch it again (long videos, I tend to not watch it all). But, for readers to understand what you’re referring to, can you share what was specifically said that is homophobic and sexism? Thanks.

  4. Candy
    Oct 17, 2010 @ 21:34:29


    I watched it all. I don’t see her putting down lesbians. I see her explaining from her perspective and her friends perspective that reveals how, not all but most lesbians tend to not like a man’s opinion and how they like to see themselves as above or equal to men. Crystal also said that she and Barry do not see people in a sexism way, they see people as human even don’t see color, see everyone as human.

    Am I missing something? can you point out to me exactly what you saw as homophobia and/or sexism?

  5. brenster-
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 00:20:52

    Crystal made a stereotypical remark about lesbians not liking men and their opinions, etc but I didn’t see her saying “not all lesbians.” I have no desire to re-watch to confirm BUT – Fact: not all lesbians hate men. No matter what, still a stereotypical remark making it look bad on lesbians. That plagues the DVTV’s recent so called “gay-friendly” at DVTV. Therefore, I believe it does fall into the homophobic category.

    See, another pattern of defending & making excuses for favorite friends – once and again…

    Thank you.

  6. Hek
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 00:50:15

    Hello There! Thanks for sharing the link with me! First of all I want to say is that I made a vlog of my finding of many overlooked and hidden facts that made me raise my eyebrows but guilty as charged that I forgot all about it as I was busy moving. I should have stood up much earlier about the issue of sexism towards the women who was mocked of their position on this Earth by a certain man.

    I did LOLed at it as a note of sarcasm then later on I began to see more and more twisted stories and my vlog has a ripple effect of proofs popping out including that vlog you objected above. I am not a lesbian, angry and in denial. I did not know it is not okay to be open minded. The most of the women he mocked isn’t lesbian either so that makes it even more risky of her for making that vlog. We did not reject him, he pushed us into debating of why women isn’t of this Earth. Of course we agree to disagree and move on but he held on trying to drill. That, I don’t appreicate at all. I had him blocked and he continue to sneak around telling people that I am angry and he was joking because he said LOL. Ha. We knows he is not joking as his history proves it, he just makes it to SEEM like its a joke. *sighs* He is the master trickster of all. I know, I have a brother who is like that. Then his wife made a vlog…… she just proved my point….the-big-picture-wise.

  7. brenster-
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 01:28:11

    btw… forgot to add one more thing so here back I am and saw Hek already posted a comment above that I was going to say. Crystal labeled her as lesbian based on how she looks. It turned out from watching Hek’s video comment that nobody ever asked her out straight if she was one or not. Also turns out that she is not. Interesting, she is already judged and labeled based on how she looks, and that is one of homophobic traits.

    Why can’t any women shave their head without being labeled as lesbians! Why can men have long hair without being labeled as gay! (rhetorical questions). So, it still remains that Crystal expressed a homophobic remark in her vlog that still remains on DVTV that said it is gay-friendly.

    How ironic!

  8. handeyes
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 02:12:04

    Candy –

    glad u took the time to view the whole vlog. Surprised u see nothing wrong with it.

    I am puzzled.

    the timing is VERY POORLY CHOSEN considering there has been SEVERAL suicides of gay/lesbian/bi/transgender youths and we all say we want to promote a healthier and safe online Deaf commUNITY

    remember the village

    Sure everyone has a right to their opinion but stating things as if facts AFTER folks have been killing themselves for being misunderstood, misrepresented, and mistreated – WOW!

    at best its insensitive and disrespectful

    at worse its malicious but i am not going there

    im just taking the FACTS and the facts are:
    1. DVTV has a little clause against targeting folks based on gender and sexual orientation
    Crystal and singled out Hek as Lesbian and a Woman

    pls see Hek’s comment above – if i read her right she is also stating that Crystal was spreading a falseHOOD about Hek

    2. Didn’t Hek have a right to her opinion? Didn’t she have a right to challenge and debate and discuss without getting saddled with a bunch of LABELS and STEREOTYPES and stigma???

    candy – im real sorry u can not see what was wrong in what and HOW (see facial expression for “those kind of people over there” etc)

    im real sorry that dont see anything wrong with Crystal conveying [your words above:] “not all but most lesbians tend to not like a man’s opinion and how they like to see themselves as above or equal to men.”

    i believe women and men at equal – does that make me a Lesbian or angry or an angry militant, anarchist, extremist Lesbian?

    I thought it just made me a reader and believer and a worker to make our self-evident truths of Declaration of Independence ring true for all HUMANS.

    so i guess candy this is yet another place we have to agree to disagree

    Dang i was so hoping we could find some common ground – ya know truths, justice and equality – that ground

    Brenster – yep my take on the comments here and there in her long vlog are homophobic in nature.

    Re: ur comment about Candy making excuses for her favorite friends – in her defense i will say that she has said in comments here and there that she is not tight with Barry and not defending him.

    Conduct appears contrary i know but im gonna take it at face value. She says she doesnt see anything wrong with the vlog and we do.

    Perceptions and values.

    Hek – big thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.

    I think many of us have been in the position of wishing we had done more sooner. The twisted stories adding up and having a ripple effect – yes we have seen that in other places and times.

    by HE – i assume u r referring to Barry, Crystal’s husband?

    re: debating why women isnt of this Earth – oh dear i missed that one

    His history is proving a plenty lately. There is much much more but too many folks became complicit in his midst and have the fear of his mighty big hard drive hanging over their heads that they will not take a stand.

    re: “she just proved my point – the-big-picture-wise.” oh, goodness Hek – i see ur point. But can others?

    thanks all and remember go else where for ur daily dose of Deaf news

    if u click the DR/DVTV portals while they are sanctioning and distributing attack v/blogs filled with falseHOODS then u r condoning – not cool

    commUNITY means u dont let folks dis women and lesbians – especially in light of the recent suicides



  9. Candy
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 02:17:23


    I asked you if you if I was missing something and I think Hek answered that missing piece. She’s saying she is not a lesbian.

    I was looking online at the homophobic term and what it meant, so that was what I was going on. Now, if Hek is not a lesbian and Crystal implied that she is, then yeah… that’s not cool.

  10. Hek
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 02:21:15


  11. handeyes
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 02:22:16

    Brenster – ur 2nd comment came in while i was typing me long missive of a reply

    yep that adds to the whole shebang right – the irony of it being labeled and stigmatized when u aint even it
    hmmmm sounds kinda like those “Obama is a Muslim” emails that so many folks are S T I L L believing.

    I love obama’s reply. No i am not but what if i was. What would be wrong with that!


    Candy – thanks for coming back to read Hek’s comment.

    so let me know where and when u do your shout out about that vlog and DVTV carrying it.

    Big thanks



  12. Hek
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 02:29:15

    Oops, I pressed enter and it sent that unfinished post. What a blonde. LOL. Anyway, Yes, yup, yeah, him.

  13. brenster-
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 02:30:09

    patti- to say and to actually say (action) are two different things…

    Candy’s last comment disturbs me… ‘If she is not lesbian, and someone implies she is, then it is not cool.’ IMO, it does not even matter if she is lesbian or not, Crystal’s comment is still not warranted. So, even if she is lesbian, it still is not even the whole point, but Crystal threw “lesbian” into mix. That’s cheap.

  14. Candy
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 02:31:32

    ASLrocks is just as bad as allowing attacks similar to it. ASLitself is upset with ASLwhen. Looks like that video isn’t there anymore because someone contacted PL. So, in that regard, someone should contact Tayler. I prefer to go with chain of command. Someone should bring this to Tayler’s attention. I don’t do vlogs over there so, I’m not really a part of DVTV at all. I don’t think Tayler watches every vlog, that would have been impossible. I think Hek should contact Tayler and go from there. However, the rest of the vlog where Crystal blogged about falsehood people had about her and her husband was good, you have to admit that she is trying to stop falsehood about her and Barry by others. Right here we are seeing two wrongs, one on each side, that is, if the information is correct. I think it’s best to find resolution at the lowest level first, perhaps starting with Crystal and Hek. Since I’m done with comments over at Ann’s blog, I’m going to listen to her advice.

    Have a good week, Patti!

  15. Hek
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 02:33:53

    Brenster, you are exactly right! The comments she made hurt the gay community because I have seen several gay-related topic vlogs coming up but no bashes showed up UNTIL that special vlog. Many came out and thumping their bibles at, even the innocent ones, us proudly like as if they know they are protected or something.

  16. brenster-
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 02:40:03

    hek- yea, I noticed that bible-thumping trend started, or rather re-started (bc not first time it happened) right after Crystal’s vlog. cheap shot in re-framing on her part shifting the attention from the real issue to attacks on gays.

  17. Shel
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 02:51:06

    Thank you for your comment here clarifying what you are and what you are not. It’s sad that you had to clarify that. I already thought that what Crystal said was out of line., but I didn’t know whether you were a lesbian or not (really, is that anyone’s business anyway?), so I only had homophobia (heterosexism) to go on.

    Her stereotyping of Lesbians as manhaters (she didn’t say that outright, but the implication was there) is an old one.
    I saw that as unwarranted stereotyping—(profiling?), and sexism as well. Suppose one switched the L word with the Black, and substituted man with the word White. That would be stereotyping and labeling “most” African-Americans as being “anti-white”.

    You know, this situation comes close to home for me. I experienced something like that 20 years ago during my university years.

    Feminists were also unfairly labelled as lesbians because of their outspokenness. You spoke out, Hek, and denounced that man’s putting down of women. You got labelled as a Lesbian.

    I have had someone close to me call me a latent lesbian because I disagreed with his misogynistic views of women, and because I took Women Studies at the time.

    It seems to me that strong women get unfairly and erroneously labelled as lesbian because they believe in asserting the view that women deserve to be respected and treated as equals, as persons in their own right.

    Hence, not only are we dealing with issues of homophobia, but also SEXISM…STILL, in 2010.

  18. Shel
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 02:55:00

    I forgot to add…
    dealing with sexism and homophobia online, as well. To have this occur online isn’t a good thing because we have a broad audience of various ages on the Internet that may stumble on those vlogs or blogs that espouse those views. So, this needs to be resolved.

  19. handeyes
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 02:57:41

    Candy –
    Tayler is aware of the blog and has chosen to leave it up.

    No i have not emailed him about it because that would be harassment according to his Y3 vlog several weeks ago. But i am aware that he is aware and seems just another example of turning a blinds eye and selectively applying his own guidelines.

    Re: ASL rocks – it aint perfect but it is generally very responsive when folks do a shout out about something ASLWhen did explain that the clip Charles was referencing was from a comment and he was trying to throw back some of the rhetoric some folks had been saying to the vloggers about religion. Regardless ASLWhen did apologize for it and as you noted Candy – it is no longer up at ASLrocks.

    and this just happened like yesterday right – fast that PL. Fast

    where as crystal’s vlog has been up in DVTV since oct 11- hmmmmm – today is oct 17

    Candy – i think you are gonna have to help me understand about your demand for folks to do shout outs because so far i really havent seen u do any specific ones and ive kinda been putting me neck out trying to follow ur mandate.

    Im just utterly confused re: the village thingy if u dont do what u say we should do.

    Brenster and Hek – i dont got a problem with folks vlogging religious stuff. i just got a problem when they use religion to attack others – be it Jews, G/L/B/T, etc Then they have crossed the line.

    It is really really really wrong for any aggregator or website to be carrying rhetoric that attacks G/L/B/T folks – especially in light of what has just happening.

    Those folks can do their free speech / dangerously close to hate speech dance / in their own spaces. CommUNITY building means u dont run that stuff.

    we gotta show support for young Deaf G/L/B/T folks right now – there is a mighty bad backlash trashing across the landscape – happens often right before folks start to get some more rights and equality (see the link in the blog above) and we can not stand idly by.

    we should stand by and with our G/L/B/T brothers and sisters.

    Remember HUMANity



  20. Candy
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 03:08:31


    Maybe your shout outs and mine are different. I do things my way as you probably should come to realize all this time you and I have gotten to know each other. I just did my shout out above. I said it wasn’t cool.

    And, it also wasn’t cool with what harassment Barry and Crystal had to put up with. Maybe people should stop with all that and start fresh and talk about things and ideas rather than person. It is getting old. And, I’m turned off by all of it. After a week of Ann’s blog, I realized it is getting too old.

    I am respecting the way you do your shout outs, at least respect mine.

    I won’t be back for a while, I am going on a break from blogs that gets into “he said, she said” or any accusations of comments/posts/videos that started with someone talking about a person negatively. I will get into topics that talk about things or ideas.

    Take care…

    All the best, Patti

  21. handeyes
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 03:33:53


    big thanks for ur comment

    yep she hits two birds with one stone in that vlog re: sexism and homophobia / heterosexism


    yep, that is the conclusion i have come to too that your and my shout outs are different. Thanks for agreeing!

    You wrote above: “Now, if Hek is not a lesbian and Crystal implied that she is, then yeah… that’s not cool.”

    i will explain why i didnt see this as a shout out because of the word…. “IF”
    do you see how that is kinda a conditional phrase? We could also do a word count – how many words you invest in defending barry and crystal outright – cuz that is what u have done 2x now since i came to ur defense boo me. U got some real strong statements in their defense and also pointing the finger in other directions – ASLwhen, ASLrocks, contact tayler etc and still u have not made a strong statement that definitively shows that Crystal’s vlog is not cool

    its just kinda odd give the tune u have been singing for the past week or so

    just kinda contradictory

    but if it is any comfort – i have said it is not, not, not not cool to bash barry. it is ok to challenge him with truths and facts – it is a actual what concerned citizens should do cuz as we can see many a folks get hurt when his falsehoods and now his wife’s go unchallenged and unchecked and remain up in aggregatiors.

    Challenge yes – harass back and bash back nope.

    i know i have left comments here and there when i saw folks really bashing them and that was long before anyone demanded such.

    But i cant be everywhere all the time and as noted – id much rather be discussing topics and not people. FYI boycotting DVTV / DR is a topic. It was you who kinda steered the discourse to be about “prove that this is homophobia and sexism” and then when the proof comes a calling u say “IF”

    re: your break – i think it is well deserved. when u r ready and back – send me a linky to any blog / vlog u want talk topic at.

    i dont go to DR / DVTV no more so ….

    and i really do like ya candy. i do.

    i understand what u r doing and why u r doing it.

    i do hope some day u can understand me too.

    i know a mighty lot of folks cant understand me but for me its pretty simple.

    Love, truth, and equality are really important and im just working towards those with la fe la esperanze y el amor

    one day at a time.

    and for me love means – telling folks the truth and telling them hard things when they dont want to see it or cant etc etc

    NOTE: Ann_C also said “No more sin of ommission.”

    DVTV leaving up “Hek, Don’t be Stupid” is a sin of omission / a blinded eye turning

    peace and love


  22. Sheri A. Farinha
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 04:07:15


    I’m wondering…did anyone like yourself video back to Crystal to tell her why her remarks weren’t cool? I can tell by the way she said it she’s not aware of the insult. Has anyone who is a lesbian responded to explain to Crystal that her sterotype isn’t cool?

    I guess while you may be concerned abt DR’s lack of oversight, I’m concerned abt the very people who make remarks and aren’t held accountable. It doesn’t need to be an all out fight. A simple video msg educating her, calmly. Do you think this could be helpful?

  23. handeyes
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 04:13:23

    Sheri –

    If you are willing to give it a try that would be GREAT.

    I did not watch the comments under her thread – just looked to see if it was on DVTV. I assume (and assumptions are dangerous i know) that other folks did leave her video comments saying not cool but who knows IF they did or not.

    I believe that BAD and Deafwomyn have made video replies on this topic.

    She can also read these comments here which cover why its not cool.

    But if you wanna make this effort on behalf of our village – that would be grand. Let me know how it goes.



  24. Karen Mayes
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 09:39:39

    To be honest, I did not view all of the vlog, only the beginning of it, the part about people believing that she was the victim of the abuse and I turned it off, sadly that she had to defend herself when it’s none of our business. So I did not see the part about the homosexuality. Like Candy, I normally don’t watch 10 minutes long vlogs… I rarely visit DVTV; I visit my favorite bookmarks nowadays 😉

    Hmm… I understand that there was an assumption about Hek… wrongly. And there was an assumption about Crystal as an abused wife… wrongly. Crystal had to clarify about the abused wife part. Hek had to clarify about the homosexuality part. It’s not our place to judge hence assumptions are NOT cool.

    We have to be careful with judging by the cover of the book.

    Patti, see you this evening. 😉

  25. protester
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 10:39:36

    i think i should protest this person’s blog as shes protesting as well, i protest that she should not be a teacher, i protest that she should not have a blog site, i protest that her thinking is wrong, i protest that what shes doing is unfair, i protest that we shouldnt leave comments under her blog, i protest that its her unfairness that she singles out different sites and favors the other, i protest her brain that isnt working, i protest that she shouldnt drive, i protest that she cant love, i protest that she cant sign very well, i protest that she is married and isnt treating her love ones well, what else should i protest?

  26. handeyes
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 11:42:44

    Hi Karen

    i agree we shouldnt judge books by their cover

    We should actually look at the full book and see what it is saying.

    There are uncool things said in Crystal’s vlog that DVTV choose to run and leave up at a time when G/L/B/T youth have been killing themselves. That is what is on the table.

    I too am sad she felt a need to defend herself. Some might view that the defense is not very effective and actually confirms what some are saying is their opinion or suspicion. I am not going there.

    One item on the table.

    Protester –

    Welcome to People of the Eye – i strongly support peaceful direct confrontation as long as its fact based and peaceful.

    Re: my driving – oh have you seen me drive? You might have some grounds to protest there.

    I do thank you for caring about me and for taking a stand.

    cuz of me truth campaign i do have to point out that protests based on falsehoods are unjust.



  27. handeyes
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 12:03:33

    heye folks

    – DVTV could simply pull the vlog or the maker of it could pull it and edit out the offensive parts about Lesbians and Women (this is what DVTV has made folks do in the past)

    it would show some action on their part ot enforce their own guidelines and it would show on Crystal’s part a desire to respect G/L/B/T at a time when some have been killing themselves

    point is they have options and choices. Just as we have options and choices of whether or not to generate traffic for those sites – a one day boycott or a week or…. until justice (as Hek noted in her vlog)
    or u can be bystanders and go for a negative peace

    the choice / option is yours

    i was just re-reading MLK Letter from Birmingham Jail

    it is amazing and i have an excerpt below with a link to the full speech


    “I must make two honest confessions to you, my Christian and Jewish brothers. First, I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to “order” than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: “I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action”; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a “more convenient season.” Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.”
    – Excerpt from Martin’s letter from jail

    peace patti

  28. Karen Mayes
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 12:07:38

    Protester.. we all have our opinions. But I draw a line at anyone making assumptions about anyone’s ability to function. She’s well-known and well-loved in Rochester’s Deaf Community, especially in the Deaf Art and Deaf Theatre. I have met her in person and I really like her.

    As for me… I drive like an old lady. I guess that’s why I never got any traffic tickets 😉

    OK, take care.

  29. handeyes
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 12:13:14

    aw karen – thanks for protesting protesters comment

    protester – if it is any consolation – i get absolutely no joy out of taking these stands for DR/DVTV to do the right thing. There is plenty of stuff that i do not pursue because its in grey areas.

    There is a pattern and a history that keeps getting repeated that is very damaging and hurtful. I have seen folks cry in vlogs about how sad they were to be misled by falsehoods

    my heart has been breaking over the suicides of G/L/B/T youth – if we can not stand now – when can we every stand?

    This tolerance for injustice is very very very strong and much of it is rooted in folks fearing that they will be next – that they will be attacked – so they keep their enemies close and some of them become bullies themselves.

    Ill be back late afternoon. If some nasty stuff comes in – i trust u all will put on your thinking caps, comes from love, and do the right thing. (gosh, i cant fathom how i keep on believing in that but folks like Karen give me mighty hope)



  30. Hek
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 12:50:36

    I find it funny I never said he abused her in my vlog….where did she get the idea from. hmm?

  31. Michael
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 13:10:47


    It is better to ask Candy a specific question in one comment because she seems to ignore many of your good points. Like you always say, it is not cool what Crystal did. Her vlog needs to be removed.


    Why are you ignoring the fact that ASLRocks does remove vlogs when people ask PL to do so? Tayler ignores requests. That is the big difference. Nobody says DVTV or ASLRocks needs to be perfect, but they need to be responsive. DVTV isn’t responsive. ASLRocks has been responsive.


  32. Karen Mayes
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 13:20:53

    Hi Hek, I never said you said it. I have seen other vloggers and commenters claiming that she as an abused spouse in the past. I was talking about assumptions.


  33. brenster-
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 13:22:28

    hek- that accusation, Candy was referring to others who made that accusation. I know and noticed how she put that into mix. Another example of re-framing in attempts to shift the discourse into something else, and to control the discourse. Nothing is new. 🙂

  34. brenster-
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 13:26:15

    oops, wrong person… but still the same concept of re-framing…

    well, it is not about Hek having to defend herself as I do not think she even cares as she knows who she is, but she stood up for the gay community. Correct me if I’m wrong, hek 🙂 but, yes, you and me people, it is not even our business. besides, again, it is not even the whole point of the original issue.

  35. Hek
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 14:24:03

    Protester, I find it hilarious that you wasted a couple of minutes…or maybe hours…typing a hate message to someone who is obviously will let that bounce and you are eating your own words. I am sorry you wasted your several minutes… or hours of your life. 😦

  36. Sheri A. Farinha
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 16:06:14

    Lol, Patti, you are SO empowering! Smile. So refreshing!

    Actually, like you and several others I am viewing this in isolation and have not seen all responses.

    I’m not one to watch DVTV unless its brought to my attn like this one was. I was thinking further, it may be more helpful if someone who knows her can VP directly to help her understand better why her remarks weren’t cool. Since you Karen know her and are friends, can we empower you to take this on if you are willing? See if she is willing to remove the video herself once she understands how offensive she is perceived as coming across to the LGBT Community? Just thinking in terms of steps.

    My 2 cents.

  37. Karen Mayes
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 16:26:30


    I have never VPed Crystal… nor Barry… nor Russell… etc. Crystal and I have never exchanged emails… just a few comments in DVTV and FB in the last few years. Crystal and I are just FB friends, nothing more.


  38. Spiritualwing64
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 17:03:44


    I had to check Ann C. Blog which I saw what Barry wrote:

    Another of Barry’s comments, this time addressed to Barb DiGi:

    I never denied the fact that such draft letters reached my desk from different people who were outraged by the nature of discussion that took place inside of an AOL chatroom when we were having our weekly DBC meetings. They came to my desk because pretty much everybody at DeafRead.com and DeafVideo knew that I was on a crusade against Deaf Bilingual Coalition. I produced over 21 vlogs on DBC during that period and that in itself generated different ideas coming from different people who felt disgusted with what DBC was doing. It does not mean I agreed with everything that these disgusted people might have said or done. I don’t control them and their thoughts. The idea of writing a letter to your boss was not mine. It did not originate with me. And again because people saw me as the leading crusade figure against DBC they blanketed me with different ideas on how they thought we should approach the matters. Indications and draft of letters reached my desk because of a simple fact. They saw me as the crusader against DBC.

    Because I received copies and decided not to carry them out does not make me an accomplice. In fact I told people that I would not get involved. Give credit where it is due. I declined and wiped my hands clean off this saga.

    And you? You had your hands on the actual letter(s) as soon as it arrived. I still do not have any clues on how many letters were sent or who sent them. You saw the signature(s) and you knew they did not contain my signature. And yet you sat back and watched the entire sage whereas I was being accused by every directions for a long period of time and yet did absolutely nothing to restore the truth.

    We’ve all seen examples of a selective blind eye. This is what I mean by a sin of omission.

    Okay, this is how I make my vlog in 2008 and asked Barry about his DBCfacts….he did offered to email me from his evidences (I do still have his evidences). So anyway, I checked what he said his own words about DBC meeting in AOL chatroom. I worked and checked back and forth what he told me about this meeting for few days then I make second vlog to ask Barry which I was so angry for being his false informations. He make DBC core members looked bad. It turned out he lied to me!
    He and I did shared comments to each other until Barry did make his vlog and asked for our apologized. I remember I was the first commenter under his vlog and I told him I forgave him then guess what? He kept doing it again and again. That is why I will never trust him again.

    If anyone is very interesting to see his evidences which he send me through emails. Ask me if you want to see this.

    Have a nice day!


  39. ASLElla
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 18:27:42

    Just want to say that I thank u for this and for all you re doing to aim for what’s right just and good. I feel sorry for Crystal and can’t imagine her inventing that title and the closing quote. Doesn’t seem to fit her sweet altho mistaken comments in ASL. Its of my opinion she was exploited in this video. Nevertheless, homophobia like audism needs to be pointed out and corrected even if person is unintentional about it like Crystal appears to be. And that vlog ought to be taken down.

  40. Michael
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 18:31:38


    For those who are curious, go to the link mentioned above and see comment #35. That is where Barry Sewell called Michael Gallagher a half woman. Is that acceptable to you all? If no, email Tayler!

    Barry’s remark is sexist. You better visit the link before Barry removed his comment to protect his face. What does DVTV do about this? Nothing. What does Candy or others do about this? Nothing. For those who complained or brought issues to Tayler’s attention, they are called harassers.


  41. Hek
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 18:38:43


    You too? Wow. I just emailed Tayler your link and your comment. I can see the bashing going on there. Now you see what I see?

  42. finlake
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 19:48:32

    … wow. #35 is debasing.

  43. Michael
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 19:50:25


    I want to clarify. I am not Michael Gallagher. I am a different Michael. It is good that you email Tayler. Everyone needs to email Tayler. The comment by Barry to Michael G was nasty about being a half woman. He basically insulted women in that comment. What do he think of all women? No respect!! Hope Michael G sees what you see.


  44. Michael
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 19:51:53

    Anyone cares to copy the comment #35 and vlog about it before Barry Sewell removes it?

  45. Hek
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 19:56:13

    Michael, thank you for clarifying this one with me. I sometimes read too fast, oopsy oopsie. Yeah, I don’t even have to prove it to people, Barry is my walking proof. Of course, this time, I recorded it.

  46. brenster-
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 21:35:31

    Wow, yes… I just saw that #35 comment and what he said was definitely SEXISM. Since Barry believes that Michael G. plays the game by twisting the words, he must be a half-woman.

    I sure would love to see what his friends (women in particular) have to say to defend him, hmm?

  47. Don G.
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 23:01:10

    You inspired me to stand up for our Lesbian and Gay allies. I made a SATIRICAL vlog on Crystal’s comments/attitude (the vlog seems to have gone viral for some reason….)

  48. Shel
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 23:06:42

    Well… so much for following the R-List guidelines, and enforcing them.

    Which guidelines were violated?
    “Namecalling” That’s one. … Calling Michael a half-woman.
    Two: Calling Hek a lesbian (still namecalling… and not intended as a positive one, and done by implication)
    The above could be considered… see capitalized words below:

    “Hate crimes (also known as bias motivated crimes) occur when a perpetrator targets a victim because of his or her membership in a certain social group, usually defined by racial group, religion, SEXUAL ORIENTATION, disability, ethnicity, nationality, age, GENDER, GENDER IDENTITY, or political affiliation.”

    The above is copied and pasted from the R-List.

    It’s now more than one year since I walked out of DVTV. What has changed there, really, in terms of enforcing guidelines? Sexism, homophobia, audism, racism, christianophobia… I named them all in my walkout vlog, and…those are STILL happening there.

    What changes have occurred for the better there?

    Re: Crystal, I agree with Sherri Farinha… she doesn’t seem to realize the insult she had given. I can tell as well. I wouldn’t recommend targeting Crystal to belittle her for what she said. Educating her is the better approach. Directly may not work. Making a vlog/ blog with the intent to educate others, not just her, would likely work better. There are many like her out there who don’t realize exactly what constitutes homophobia, and sexism, for example.

  49. Shel
    Oct 18, 2010 @ 23:18:01

    I think I need to clarify something:
    “Hate crimes (also known as bias motivated crimes) occur when a perpetrator targets a victim because of his or her membership in a certain social group, usually defined by racial group, religion, SEXUAL ORIENTATION, disability, ethnicity, nationality, age, GENDER, GENDER IDENTITY, or political affiliation.”

    I pointed the above out, because Hek was ASSUMED to be a member of “certain social group defined by…sexual orientation” in this case, lesbian, though she wasn’t. This was an erroneous assumption, but still homophobic in content and intent.

  50. Sheri A. Farinha
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 00:16:04

    Hi Patti and all, just got this tweet and wish to share! All communities need to do this!

    NAACP: NAACP Social Networking Guidelines http://fb.me/IuP9PbWI

    Can we work together to create ours?

  51. Hek
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 01:38:20

    Here is the video of the comment Barry made.

  52. Sheri A Farinha
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 02:32:21


    Thanks for sharing the video comment.

    sheesh,….I’m signless…half woman huh?

    So to imply that only women twist things? I used to tease my ex hubby that he was more into gossip than I was…but not even he would dare to say such things as “half-woman” or ” you women” etc.

    I have a million and one very profound descriptive words right now…none of them are nice words.
    Guess its time for a walk….

  53. handeyes
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 03:12:49

    heye all

    crazy busy day today

    thanks for all ur comments

    definitely no bashing of crystal – not cool

    just focusing on DVTV violating its on guidelines

    re: barry’s comment – oy!

    re: link to the NAACP on social networking guidelines – SWEET. sign me up



  54. brenster-
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 04:44:50

    Besides, the sexist remark, that video comment also consists name calling “YOU OBVIOUSLY LACK (of) COMMON SENSE!” Another example of DVTV violating its own guidelines…

  55. finlake
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 04:47:58

    Sheri, you mean pumping iron instead of walking? ^_^

  56. Joseph Pietro Riolo
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 09:05:09

    I don’t think I can remain silent on this any longer; I don’t think I can remain a bystander any longer.

    The video titled “Crystal Sewell in: “The BS and I” ” made by Dr. Donald A. Grushkin is very demeaning. I do not see it as satire; I see it as mockery with the intention to offend and hurt Ms. Crystal Sewell.

    I will not lie that I did laugh at some of the performance but after the laughter faded away, I started to realize that the intention behind the video was not to rebuke her stereotypical statements but to make fun of her personally.

    I know fully that I am not perfect and am not entitled to cast the first stone. But then, being a bystander is not I want to be in this specific case.

    Joseph Pietro Riolo

    Public domain notice: I put all of my expressions in this post in the public domain.

  57. Karen Mayes
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 09:28:50

    Good morning…

    I am with Joseph on this one. I feel like it’s Carl and HonBrit09 all over again…

    I’d have no problem with Crystal’s video, but it was made right after the nation’s spotlight on the suicides so the subject is understandably sensitive. I only watched the part about her clarifying her stance in regards with her relationship with Barry. About the lesbians… I have not watched the part so I can’t really comment on it…

    But we need to steer away from mocking her or anyone in a mean way… satire or not.

  58. Michael
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 10:57:39

    Joseph and Karen

    What do you say about Barry’s #35 comment? I don’t see you say something? That is just one of many comments and vlogs Barry or his family made that provoked people.

    Karen, you may be less guilty because I have seen you disapproving Barry.

    Joseph, I have never seen you disapproving Barry’s behaviors. Why are you always defending him by throwing smokescreen – shifting the attention to Don’s vlog? I am not saying that Don’s vlog is right, but let’s talk about Barry! He does the crime all the time.

    For once, can you say whether or not you approve Barry’s #35 comment? Everyone needs to know if you are a guy of principle or you are just a follower of Barry who thinks he does everything right.

  59. finlake
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 11:13:53

    Ok, for what it is worth, in regards to Dr. Don G’s vlog, #35, Carl/Honbrit, blah blah — we’re all equally morally f–ked up.

  60. finlake
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 11:15:03

    Now, I can see why Candy’s taking a break from blogging, and to be frank, I think I could use a break and a refresher with mother nature, instead of human nature.

  61. Karen Mayes
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 11:32:41

    Hello Michael.

    I am NOT going there what you are asking… I am not in any camps. One blogger who left DR a few years ago told me that he noticed I often ended up being guilty by association. I have not seen the rest of Crystal’s video nor the comments and now I have NO desire. This whole thing leaves me a little sick in my stomach. I have stopped going to DVTV…and I have no plans to go there.

    One blogger brought up a good question in the email to me… the shoutouts… to punish, to control, or to shame people? That got me thinking….

    finlake is correct… as I told a few people, I really need a break from this fiasco… which I unwittingly opened a can of worms in my blog about questionable behavior. Off to a hike in the woods in a few hours, to find acorns… heard that acorn butter is good, filled with omega 3, 6, and 12… gonna try the recipe…

  62. Karen Mayes
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 11:36:50

    Patti… your blog provided a lot of food for thinking. I appreciate it… I think it’s time for me to stop commenting on this particular posting because I am beginning to sense that people are looking for “loyalties” which I want nothing to do with. But I will keep an eye on your future postings…

    See you around Patti.

  63. Michael
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 11:48:30


    I am not looking for loyalties. I am tired of people defending Barry Sewell or Tayler Mayer to no end. Barry insulted people and is not banned from DVTV. Putting down women is not acceptable to me. I respect my wife and many women dearly. It shocked me when Tayler or Joseph or anyone chose to turn their heads the other way while Barry made connections between no commen sense and women and while Barry’s wife made a remark about lesbians. People refuse to look at the #35 comment or any videos of Barry’s, but they did look at Don’s vlog. Why going after Don, not Barry? They don’t want to face the reality that Barry isn’t a great guy. By refusing to watch the comment or videos by Barry or his family, they can pretend that Barry is an okay guy. Wake up, people. Barry is the one who threatens everyone’s jobs and many more things. Let’s hope Hek does not work for anyone. I won’t be surprised that Barry will be calling Hek’s employer.

  64. handeyes
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 11:55:37

    heye all

    Karen and Joseph – thanks for ur comment about Don G’s vlog. i did not have a chance to watch it yeststerday and viewed it just now.

    I have removed Don G’s link to his vlog in his comment up above. if folks wanna see it – they can go find it.

    Don – i love ya. Satire is a fickle creature – it usually works best when the doer is mocking themselves a bit too to show no overtly ill intent. In your comment you said i inspired you. (well, actually im not sure how you meant by “you” maybe u were referring to Hek ) but if you meant “you” to mean me – i wanna say – in no way was i aiming to inspire folks to mock her.

    Some of the things in ur vlog r real disrespectful to her and intentionally offensive.

    in a word – UNCOOL

    That makes me sad. I ask ya to pls consider removing the vlog.

    what i am learning is:

    Satire is funny when u ain’t the target of it and our moral compasses are some what affected by our own complicity

    solution: come from love and come clean on our own complicity – we will be lighter and happier and freer

    What i am hoping for – Yep – i still have hope is that we can appeal to the better angels of our nature. Meaning that when we see something wrong or unjust we put it on the table and discuss it.

    What is on the table of this thread (pls see the top entry folks) is DVTV running the “Hek, Don’t Be Stupid” vlog after the spike in G/L/B/T suicides

    thats wrong folks plain and simple

    several folks have delineated how that vlog and the comment #35 violate DVTV’s own guidelines

    I gotta beg folks to stop dragging in other stuff here. especially if the intent is to backlash or distract or distort

    cuz the result is that it generally dismays me

    Joseph – Michael has a valid point. Just something to consider. I do appreciate u doing the shout out on Crystal’s behalf – it is just right and good. I do hope u will do the same for others.

    Thank J, K and F for not being bystanders

    Finlake – re: mother nature vs human nature – oh boy – i understand ya there.
    Im aiming to put the humanity back in human – we will see see

    Karen – thank u for your additional notes

    Re: shout outs – i think they will be valuable and useful if we are consistent – if we look at what is being said and why instead of if the person who is saying it is a homie or not

    i believe that u have begun this journey and it is serving me well as a model to not be a bystander

    but i agree there is a danger if we put upon ourselves the duty of policing the internet world – we will be left feeling utterly sick

    i am eager to have b/vlogging that focuses on the good stuff and also challenges the bad stuff – PEACEFULLY, LOVINGLY, and JUSTLY

    i think we can do this

    i think we can

    i think WE can

    the can of worms u openned – needed to be openned and i thank u for it.

    it brought for truths and transpirancey facts and evidence

    what i have learned is that:
    1. a great many people are hurt by our past words

    truly hurt. and this is why i forever say i am sorry for anything i have done or said in the b/vlogsphere that has hurt ya all and i invite u to tell me what i done


    I, I , I is cuz im accountable and responsibile for my own actions and inactions and cuz “we gotta be the change we wanna see in the world” gandhi (a bit jazzed up)

    2. when we bump up against folks that rub us the wrong way – we get nasty

    lwrd, do we get nasty – knock that s#it out folks

    3. the FEAR FACTOR – this is huge folks.
    the more i learn the more a SEE – there is lots of layers of web spinning below the surface. There are folks who are totally fearful of evidence of their own complicity coming forward

    it seems to be fight or flight time for many

    not cool

    what i learned from the photographer at RSD (Florian Schulz) is when he encounters a grizzle bear in the woods the Blackfeet people taught him to talke to the bear “Hello Bear – i am taking photographs. No need to worry about me…” and to stand VERY tall – do not run etc

    i imagine how this is counterintuative to our human instinct. how most of us would run and not stand TALL and just challenge with love and peace

    He also explained how he tried it on a Polar Bear but it was not as receptive and his guide had to fire off a flare gun in his ear to get the bear to scat.

    Notice none of the approaches involved VIOLENCE

    we have begun to be violent with our words and our spirit.

    I understand why – but it s wrong

    it is time to come from love or to take a break

    it is VERY hard to show folks the harm of what they do because it usually makes them V E R Y angry at us but when folks have shown me what i have done that is wrong or hurtful or needs to stop – i have been thankful because it makes me a better HUMAN and ANIMAL on this planet.

    Tread carefully folks – feelings are everywhere.

    https://handeyes.wordpress.com/2010/10/16/standing-by-our-mother/ info with links to Florian’s conservation projects and photography



  65. Karen Mayes
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 12:00:29

    Michael, thank you for explaining your stance. I did not view all of Don G’s vlog, saw only the first few minutes before I shut it down, feeling like there’s no hope :-/

    I am aware of Barry’s shortcomings… and we all have shortcomings. I am more cautious than before nowadays which is why I am setting out on my own as a blogger in my own right. The last three weeks have been… interesting, let’s say.

    Okay, take care…

  66. Karen Mayes
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 12:03:27


    Did not see your comment when I wrote my previous comment.

    Nice one… hope is necessary for our survival, I know.


  67. handeyes
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 12:20:05

    re: Hope –

    i love the msg below – while it is directed towards African-Americans and people of color equality – it is applicable to any minority group and within our Deaf community we have folks of color and who are G/L/B/T, differently-abled, etc and their increased struggle are often more overlooked –
    Hope is essential fo all of us and it comes from recognizing where we are and where we want to be

    rom colonel west:
    “We need a moral prophetic minority of all colors who muster the
    courage to question the powers that be, the courage to be impatient
    with evil and patient with people, and the courage to fight for social
    justice. In many instances we will be stepping out on nothing, hoping
    to land on something. That’s the history of Black folks in the past and
    present, and of those of us who value history and struggle. Our courage
    rests on a deep democratic vision of a better world that lures us and a
    blood-drenched hope that sustains us.

    This hope is not the same as optimism. Optimism adopts the role of the
    spectator who surveys the evidence in order to infer that things are
    going to get better. Yet we know that the evidence does not look good.
    The dominant tendencies of our day are unregulated global capitalism,
    racial balkanization, social breakdown, and individual depression. Hope
    enacts the stance of the participant who actively struggles against the
    evidence in order to change the deadly tides of wealth inequality,
    group xenophobia, and personal despair. Only a new wave of vision,
    courage, and hope can keep us sane-and preserve the decency and dignity
    requisite to revitalize our organizational energy for the work to be
    done. To live is to wrestle with despair yet never to allow despair to
    have the last word.”

    From http://www.commondreams.org/views05/0111-35.htm

  68. handeyes
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 13:04:59

    this is the comment i left at ohbuckaroo youtube for Crystal – it is pending approval:
    Crystal – I ask that u remove this vlog as you are falsely targeting Hek as a Lesbian and also targeting her because she is a woman. This is homophobia and sexism.
    Homophobia – unintentional or intentional – is wrong. The timing of your vlog in the wake of suicides of G/L/B/T is very disrespectful and inappropriate. Pls remove this vlog. Thank you. Peace, Patti

    this is the comment i left at DrDonG youtube which is up:
    HI Don –

    I come in peace. I do not support this vlog and ask that you remove it. While i understand satire – you are being very disrespectful to Crystal in this vlog as a woman and as a wife.

    My heart is breaking. I truly want us not to become what we hate and i want us to appeal to the better angels of our nature. No eye for an eye. This satire has gone into the realm of intense mocking and demeaning. Someone likened to what Carl did to Honbrit. Pls no. Pls remove. ILY patti

    and i flagged ’em at youtube

    re: Barry’s offensive comment – i do not know what to do for that because if i email tayler i will be accused of harassing him. I do not go into DVTV comments etc so…
    only went in the other day to see if DVTV was carrying Crystal’s inapproriate vlog and to capture the screen to make the invisible visible

    I am not watching other b/vlogs today because – i gotta go out and live in the real world

    YA HOO!

    I do hope we can find the better angels of our nature.



  69. PopeMistress
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 13:37:10

    Go check on how much DeafRead website worth now? :

    Go check on how much dvtv website worth now? :

    Go check on how much youtube website worth now? :

    Go check on how much google website worth now? :

  70. PopeMistress
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 14:32:35

    And also see how much ASLROCKS website worth?:

  71. finlake
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 15:54:48

    If you don’t mind me asking, PopeMistress, how is the value of several websites relevant to this particular blog?

  72. PopeMistress
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 16:41:41

    no finlake, i don’t mind you asking me. just got email from someone today this morning while I was working on research. can you see how many visitors on those data charts from that websites??? is that how we know how many visitors from those EACH several website get???? thought would like to share to others in case if they wanna know by seeing the data charts… thank you

  73. finlake
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 17:05:29

    Data of homophobic/sexism isn’t shown on the data charts. I’m just trying to see how it pertains to the topic.

  74. Sheri A Farinha
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 17:10:41

    Hey all,
    Recieved this from “No Limits.org” and have shared with my agency staff and board, and posted on Facebook. Everyone is trying to combat the same thing we are!

    Stand-up for Equal Rights & Equal Dignity: Wear PURPLE on WEDNESDAY! The news stories in past weeks re: the suicide of gay young people, and the savage beating of others, speak more forcefully than anything else. Take a stand for EVERYONE, no matter who they are – or who they love.
    See: http://www.itgetsbetterproject.com/


  75. finlake
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 17:12:22

    Mind you, PopeMistress, I’m not picking on you. I’m just curious and my curiousity needs to be sated.

  76. PopeMistress
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 17:16:03

    finlake, sorry!

  77. finlake
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 17:53:30

    Don’t be, PopeMistress. I’m just curious. It’s quite an interesting data, too. 😀

  78. InsaneMisha
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 19:24:59

    Oh my….how quickly you guys forgot something! I’m somewhat appalled with some of this comments. Some of you raised HELL for Don G’s satire vlog and don’t think it is not satire. Some of you decided to turn your “cheek” away from the fact BS left one scathing comment toward Michael G in comment #35 in DVTV at same time he even called Deafjames “Stupid”, so on and on. Yet, some of you jumped in and “attacked” Don G. for Crystal, Carl for HonBrit, CharlesTheRogue for HonBrit (sorry, she seemed to be popular target at that time) and so on and on.
    What is that you forget? BS’s son, Cobi made several satire vlogs about most of us. Yet you guys laughed at our expenses. Sure we did raised HELL, too…I admit that.

    What does that tell you?

    It’s all about hypocrisy!
    God, what the hell is the matter with you?!? I’m thoroughly disgusted.

    Disgusted Misha

  79. PopeMistress
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 20:23:25

    Yes true, Disgusted Misha!!! Suppose suppose if if if my husband is BS + hypocrite, then I will have to be STUCK + crazy with his “managing” overpower???

  80. finlake
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 20:25:43

    Well, Patti, I reiterate what I said earlier — we are equally morally f–ked up. -smirk-

  81. PopeMistress
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 21:05:06

    sorry i had to respectfully disagree with you patti. look at the hearing world, they do make jokes! why can’t we Deaf make jokes??? do we have to be HOLY + boring all the times???? eh??

  82. Shel
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 21:12:04


    I can see your point, but hearing people are also struggling with the same issues we are…cyberharassing, homophobia, sexism, and you name it. Click on Sheri’s link that leads to NAACP guidelines… you will see they’re dealing with the same online issues we are. Both Hearing and Deaf folks are screwed up.

    The point here is jokes are ok as long as they don’t target individuals, attack specific individuals, yadda yadda. Homophobia, sexism, and other isms should not be tolerated. ALL of us need to expect better of ourselves.

    To be honest, I refuse to let my son, who is nearly a teenager (Lord help me!), go online to blog, etc because of all those issues that BOTH Deaf and Hearing folks are struggling with, that make Internet unsafe.

  83. finlake
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 22:14:33

    Shel, the world isn’t safe, either. 🙂 Sooner or later, your boy’s gonna be wide-eyed. I think you’ll do dandy giving him the moral guidance.

  84. Joseph Pietro Riolo
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 22:26:01

    To Michael (in his comment dated October 19, 2010 at 10:57am),

    Sigh. I have little faith that whatever I write will ever satisfy you. I will give it a try.

    Mr. Barry Sewell should have been a lot more civil than what was shown in his comment #35 toward Mr. Michael Gallagher. However, it is my understanding that they are not amicable to each other and it is inevitable that they say not so nice words to each other, although I wish it could not have to be that way. I feel that it will be a folly for me to get involved in the relationship between them.

    Joseph Pietro Riolo

    Public domain notice: I put all of my expressions in this post in the public domain.

  85. handeyes
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 22:30:12

    popemistress and sheri – thanks for the links

    insane misha – we can keep a pointing the finger this way and that or we can say “wrong is wrong”

    karen has already said that the attacks on DE, Barb, and Ella via their work places/affiliations/licensing boards was very uncool. i think she was one of the first to say it publicly 2 years ago when the letters got posted at DBC Facts (which is a misnomer site)

    she also said the timing of Crystal’s vlog is a poor choice etc

    Re: Joseph III – i wouldnt mind seeing him spread the righteous indignation a bit more in other directions but he may have at times and we aint aware of it

    but since its inventory taking time it seems – ur use of the namecalling “lapdogs” aint cool

    re: cobi’s video making – it seems to me many folks find them funny because of their sheer stupidity and here i am not am not trying to insult his craft – im just noting that most of the folks laughing r cuz of the videos’ ludicrousness. some are laughing with glee as they rub their hands together in a wicked way but in general the innocent folks r just taking them at face value and not realizing they are basically home schooling assignments of an ill-intent. (Cobi himself said that he did this as part of his de/unschooling experience and his dad had helped him with the wordings etc and more recently despite Barry’s claim that he had nothing to do with Cobi’s vlog about a videogame mocking and defaming Deafhood and Ella – Barry’s claim of non-involvement is a bit contradictory given the fact that he STARS in the vlog and is seen to be saying things like – yes they are money hungry etc)

    just for the record i have complained about Cobi’s video making in the past in terms of copyright infringement / content / intent / and target

    If the vlogs r still being carried by DVTV – OY!

    Popemistress – re: Hearing folks do do so so should we too too

    not cool in me book – we meaning the good folks must never become what we hate

    eye for an eye just makes the whole world injust

    this aint got nothing to do with ears that hear and those that dont – its got to do with our hearts and souls

    re: boring – i could use some boring right about now

    finlake – yep f#ucked up – welcome to the monkey house pal

    we r either part of the solution or part of the problem

    boycott aggreators and video websites that dont abide by their own guidelines of zero tolerance for targeting specific folks and groups

    or we can continue to traffic those joints and spin, twist, befuddle, and point fingers

    the choice is….. ours

    “injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere” mlk jr



  86. Michael
    Oct 20, 2010 @ 01:44:19


    Your comment does satisfy me that you recognized that what Barry said was not appropriate. Calling someone a half woman is appalling. Think about how many women out there watching his comment. Michael Gallagher has been much nicer than Barry is. If anyone thinks I am wrong, I welcome a video of Michael’s inappropriate comment to prove otherwise. I doubt there is anyhing more horrible than Barry’s. We need to stop Barry from bullying people and from teaching people that sexism is acceptable.

    We need more people say to Barry — enough is enough.


  87. handeyes
    Oct 20, 2010 @ 10:44:17

    Michael –

    i do agree that we need more folks to take a stand for that which is just right and good

    as shel said:”ALL of us need to expect better of ourselves.”

    I understand and appreciate ur concerns re: Barry’s inappropriate and insulting words to Michael G and i have seen him use other demeaning language directed at some of the good folks in this very thread in other places and spaces.

    It is time of each of us to stand up and say enuf to bullying and bashing where ever and when ever we see it and also to request that Deaf aggregators and video websites do not carry such stuff.

    I also TOTALLY do not want us to engage in bashing and bullying as a means of stopping others from doing it. That stuff just begets more bad stuff. Spread the love – firm with love folks.

    Better angels of our nature and all that jazz.

    CommUNITY building

    it takes a village



  88. PopeMistress
    Oct 20, 2010 @ 11:37:53

    Hi Shel!

    I did looked up at Sheri Farinha’s links. But still we need more Deaf culture education on how to stop bully issues!

    What we need more? Ofc there are some gays bully on gay too + plus some straights bully on straight + many more like different people!! That’s why we need to learn more on how we face or approach that bully issues.

    Thanks, Shel for your concern but we are still living on this crazy not safe world like finlake did mentioned that!

  89. handeyes
    Oct 20, 2010 @ 12:19:56

    heye Popemistress and everybody else –

    i just copied and pasted and posted in a new “People of the Eye” entry the NAACP info that sheri linked us to

    i think there are some really important stuff that we could apply to our commUNITY building.

    its cool to see it from the NAACP cuz they are focusing on an oppressed group also and the various dynamics at play but it could surely be revised to fit our commUNITY more

    ive added some things that i would want to see added to it if we were to adapt/adopt it

    would love to see your thoughts on it also

    its up at: https://handeyes.wordpress.com/2010/10/20/possible-model-for-guidelines-re-social-networking/



  90. patti
    Oct 20, 2010 @ 12:53:31

    Michael – it just occurs to me now that you may have not seen the thread at Ann_C’s reflections that examines indepth some of Barry’s past actions and commitment to doing the same in the future

    You will probably note the lack of shout outs of UNCOOL in that thread also but there r a few of us focusing on the topic and putting forth the truths – making the invisible visible and challenging with love




  91. deafa
    Oct 20, 2010 @ 14:13:59

    I know you like to use how Black Americans (or native americans and so on) fought for their civil rights get your point across, but we should fight our own battle using our own people. . Leave Black Americans history to them and let’s use our own history. I just don’t think it is really fair to use their history to fight our own battle (afterall, we are unique because deafness is a disability and yet we have own culture and language result of that) but that’s probably just me

  92. handeyes
    Oct 20, 2010 @ 14:30:26


    thank you for your comment

    too me all struggles for equality are intertwined & interconnected in the spirit of humanity

    there is also the factor that there is much to learn from those milestones and methods

    there is also the factor that African-American, Native American, Asian American, Women, G/L/B/T, Jewish, differently abled folks are also part of our Deaf community

    Just aiming to make “We hold these truth to be self-evident….” applicable to all of us

    im sorry i dont really see the value in not appreciating those histories, struggles, and effective means for social justice – especially when large numbers of those folks make up our folks and especially since i am a White heterosexual middle class person – in understanding those struggles i understand my own privilege and how at times i have used and abused my privilege against my fellow wo/man

    in no way when i mention those others struggles or rights do i intend to undermine who and how Deaf ASL and Deaf oral folks are

    equality for ALL be the aim – and learning from history rather than repeating the sins of history also be the sun i jump at

    much peace


  93. PopeMistress
    Oct 21, 2010 @ 11:15:15

    Yeah Deafa,

    The problems that I had seen some CI Users did bully on some CI Users that have other disability too! But I don’t have CI myself. I feel so bad for some CI users that have other different kinds of disability becuz they cannot focus on education as well as they could. They did struggled so hard but they do felt down by the oppression from social peers + some or few parents too!

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