Are My Genes No Good?

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Short video describing an anti-D/deaf attitude I encountered from a nurse after my son was born

Have you had similar experiences with the medical profession???


20 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Mishkazena
    Dec 08, 2007 @ 20:20:08

    Oh, man I am so sorry, Patty. This should have been a joyous event and that bigoted nurse went ahead and ruined it.

    That is one argument about the non-defective embryos being picked through IVF. The critics state it is a powerful message conveyed to the disabled that they are unacceptable. They are correct. Many disabled people are rightfully upset about this eugenic movement. Several European countries are banning the genetic testing of IVF embryos. I hope this ban will spread elsewhere, too.

  2. Deaf Pixie
    Dec 08, 2007 @ 20:29:40

    Amazed me it was happened to my two babies were native and I notice my older daughter can hear and then other time she could not hear. I knew her birth father have a skip genes of hereditary. I took her to doctor to find out if her ear wax. he never find why she could not hear. Referred to Hearing Speech Deafness Center in Seattle, WA. The audiologist told me your baby is hearing. I was puzzled. Until she was 4 month ago, deteroiated and puzzled she never look around when I turn on my hearing aid on .. EEEEsKKKK. sound strange. she did not turn around. I talked loud she did turn around. she was very happy.. but later it come back worsen. I took Audiogolist. The lady from HSDC and found it was too much ear wax.. So, she is not genetic of hearing loss from her father. I deal with that. They referred to specialist and the specialist looking at her ear.. Found it was so full. he took very tiny to remove earwax.

    she hear the music band of monkey in corner. she looking fast. Finally it is the reason why earwax often barrier to not able to hear when it was full earwax. I thought I am not worry about her hearing loss. I said Good baby .. Dr asked me if she have a genetic deaf in my family. I said No, her baby’s father do have a genetic. he start not beleive me. Test again.. I said Hearing is fine ..I have to back off to not wish hearing test.

  3. Jean Boutcher
    Dec 08, 2007 @ 22:58:45

    What has happened to your video?
    In light of the aforementioned comments, I must have sorely msised your vlog. Hopefully, you
    will make it available again.

  4. Mark Maki
    Dec 09, 2007 @ 03:48:25

    Iam sorry how the nurse reacted to your situation. that is very disgusted and Iam kind of disappoint that many hearing people have the same attitude. it is obviously need education that we are human being not forcus on our Deafness. Iam kind of tired the attitude. I know how you felt.

  5. B.A.D.
    Dec 09, 2007 @ 05:35:01


    First of all I’m glad your baby is healthy!! 🙂

    Secondly – I can’t believe the nurse, if it were me, I would be “HEY!” What you mean “Thank God???” Grr!!!

  6. PANY Lighthouse
    Dec 09, 2007 @ 08:05:35

    Oh gosh…that nurse, I would have slapped the back of her head and say, “Duh” to her!

    More importantly, your baby is healthy — deaf or hearing!

    Oh, a few times, I have encountered the similar situation whenever I took my son to specialists…the anti-deaf attitude exists everywhere unless they are educated properly!

  7. tim
    Dec 09, 2007 @ 08:09:10

    Hands waving for a healthy baby!

    God determines who walks into your life…’s up to you to decide who let walk away,who you let stay,and who you refuse to let go.!

    Father, God bless you all my friends in whatever it is that you know they may need this day! And may their life be full of your peace,prosperity and power as they seek to have a closer realtionship with you. Amen.

    Patty- Let it go! Do Your best as a mother. Be justified for your child. I believe that you will be a great mother to your own child. Show an asset that you are a model. Lastly, bring your child back to the hospital 18 years later to bless them.

  8. pdurr
    Dec 09, 2007 @ 08:25:23

    hey all

    thanks for ur comments

    the baby is now 10 years old and unstoppable

    it continues to amaze me at how some folks still perceive a deaf child to be a tragedy

    yes i see that story as directly relating the the recent concerns re: a deaf person’s rights to pass on a deaf gene

    what would have happened had my husband and i needed to go for IVF – would such a nurse advocate for the screening of the embryo for any sign of hereditary deafness (known or unknown to us), would i have been advised by the doctor to use someone else’s eggs (my husband has supersonic hearing so im sure they would be cool with his contribution)

    the nurse really charged off so quickly after saying “Thank God” that i had no chance to reply and i was speechless

    thankfully all the other nurses did not demonstrate such an attitude.

    its totally important to know that not ALL people have such audist attitudes (hearing and deaf can both have these audist attitudes so im uncomfortable when people use hearing often to mean audist. MLK Jr was wonderful in asserting there are far more good white people than there are bad)

    When i was confronted with such a strong reaction and fear, it really gave me great pause – “what is it about d/Deaf people that causes such dread in some people – especially professionals”

    Paddy Ladd discusses the “specialists” attitude towards “deafness”

    if for any odd reason society deemed that red hair was “defective” and “undesirable” several of my family members would be GONE



  9. pdurr
    Dec 09, 2007 @ 08:34:36

    Deaf Pixie

    I imagine many parents have had similar situations as you.

    I like when a doctor says “mom, u know the baby best – tell me what u r seeing and what u r thinking”

    this has only happened a few times in my experience with doctors but when it happens i am very happy because it means they respect and value our attunement with our children

    u had strong sense your daughter was not hearing things due to ear wax or other cause but doctor was obsessed with genetics from the father.

    i am glad they found the answer for u. many Deaf parents know / sense if their child hears or not. They often want to find out so they will know how to do best and right by their kids not because they want to “fix” them medically

    on the website – there is a great BBC TV program on a Deaf couple expecting a baby
    the meeting with the pediatrician is very fascinating – u can see very clearly who the doctor and the parents r coming from different CENTRES for the dr it is deaf = EEKKKKSS and for the Deaf couple its like d/Deaf = YA HOO

    but the Deaf couple r often in awkward situations where they have to “educate” the professionals or wisely just keep quiet judging its probably not worth it to try



  10. Deb Ann
    Dec 09, 2007 @ 08:37:50

    Oh my, the nurse really insulted! All deaf/Deaf babies are healthy, normal, and beautiful! They all are gifted by God!

  11. pdurr
    Dec 09, 2007 @ 09:03:39

    re: posts 6 and 7 what a contrast in approaches

    i felt no desire to hit the nurse and didnt post the vlog to show i have obsessed in any way over the incident. just used it to illustrate the genetics issue now before us

    my son is a blessing as are each of us everywhere

    i have no hostility towards that nurse – but rather used it to illustrate the prevelance of such attitudes and that folks in the medical profession exert positions of power over babies lives for better or worse

    had i been a hearing mother and my child was d/Deaf what might that nurse say to me

    i would rather she say “u r blessed to have this d/Deaf child. be thankful”

    we can certainly pray on that



  12. brenster-
    Dec 09, 2007 @ 11:31:12

    hi- love your creative close-up and original-location edits at end = powerful! 🙂

  13. Jean Boutcher
    Dec 09, 2007 @ 11:41:19


    Thank you for making your video available at this time.

    I could envision a mental picture of you or of any mother when a nurse like yours said things like that. That would make a mother feel as if she were crashed under the Empire Building! That was the same thing that my maternal grandmother said to my beloved deaf mother when I was born deaf. Should I ever give birth to a deaf child and get the same remark from a nurse, I would tell her that deaf people can do anything, painting, acting, pantpmiming, teaching, save answering voice phone calls.

    Albeit being well-educated, eugentic attitude, elitism,
    prejudice are prevailing in society — even amongst doctors and nurses.

  14. Deaf Pixie
    Dec 09, 2007 @ 12:20:36


    I agree that I am kind of tired of doctor’s abusive on me about beginning they think my daughter’s genetic. Somewhat I told them ..I am not worry about her hearing loss as deaf. Why you worry about my child might be learning disabities because of hearing loss. I thought All of medical professional changed the people’s world. Impossible!!

    I watched the film.. I was stunned deaf mother feeling mixed about deaf baby, I know what some of mother feeling about deaf or hearing. I was kind of disappointed my daughter is not deaf. Hearing baby is fine after I accepted that. I knew it is weak genetic from her birth father.

    Baby is really influence me and complete understand the way I fell love with her after 2 week old.. Now my older daughter will step out of my house this spring for college. I know how much I have hard time to let her go for her own new life.

    Perfect example. I have another young daughter is living with us.
    I agree that Prejudice is being difficult by doctor or nurse worry about my baby is deaf or hearing. Slap their face. I am tired of asked me why deaf baby I want. Back off… I will say That’s depend on child’s genetic might be skip or keep hereditary. So what??

    Thank you for sharing about these. I really learn alot to share.

  15. michele
    Dec 09, 2007 @ 18:49:05

    Ahh, this is a very common question faced by new deaf parents who have babies, they are always asked with this same question over and over again.

    I often wonder how people would have reacted if I had a deaf baby. The reactions I got from hearing people was that they were happy and smiled when I gave them the answer that my babies were hearing. It also made me feel sad that they did not acknowledge or accept my deafness. I often wanted to tell them, “WHO CARES!! This is my baby, they are FINE regardless if they are deaf or hearing!”. Hearing people don’t realize when they ask this kind of question, they are being very rude!!!

  16. Levine
    Dec 09, 2007 @ 19:55:27

    Hi Patti,
    Sorry you had to go thr that. Next time this happen, play ,mind game like…. “no baby isnt normal cuz “hearing”” see how they will respond back?
    btw glad baby is healthy. good luck

  17. Thomas
    Dec 10, 2007 @ 12:27:38


    Wow! My wife and I went through a situation that is comparable to what you shared.

    Take a look at my vlog on my website. The title of the vlog is Your Son Failed!

    Those people need to be educated and reminded that Deaf people ARE OK…


  18. Deaf Pixie
    Dec 11, 2007 @ 01:08:12

    Deaf need to be enpower on Doctor or nurse. Tell them to not discuss in personal .. Tell them a truth out of your deaf culture and family hereditary.

  19. DE
    Dec 17, 2007 @ 10:07:27

    Just viewed your vlog now.. wow you perfectly illustrated how institutionalized audism operates and is prevalent.

    BTW- I love your editing. You are getting better with vlogs every minute!! Keep it up!


  20. Dianrez
    Dec 18, 2007 @ 21:21:33

    Similar things were said to me during the pregnancy and birth of each of my three children.

    Ignorance has to be dismissed as unworthy of further consideration. There are just too many people out there to successfully educate every one.

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